Why watching ‘The Bachelor’ via Twitter is better than the real thing

Confession: I’ve never seen a single episode of The Bachelor.

I’ve come to this life decision for a few reasons:

I’m generally bad at keeping up with TV, which is time consuming. I prefer to spend the minutes I have doing things like catching horses in The Legend of Zelda and giving them dumb names. (To each their own, ya know.)
I think the greatest reality TV show of all time is VH1’s Charm School (a televised manners school for the contestants of VH1’s own slate of dating shows, featuring commandments like “thou shall show some class,” and — I kid you not — Mo’Nique, Sharon Osborne, and Ricky Lake as its headmistresses). Read more…