Rich dude says a housekeeper stuck in elevator for 3 days did not test ‘limits of human endurance’ and ummmm

It is almost as if the rich people have lost touch.
A 53-year-old housekeeper was trapped in the elevator of her billionaire employer’s New York apartment building for three days last weekend. What caused the elevator to malfunction is unclear, but t…

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Oh no, construction workers found a bunch of teeth inside a wall

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Is anyone missing their tooth collection?

Construction workers in Valdosta, Georgia, were surprised to discover around 1,000 teeth inside a building wall on Tuesday. That’s right — a bunch of teeth. Human teeth! Indeed, it is the Halloween season.

According to a researcher quoted in the Valdosta Daily Times, the building’s first tenant was a dentist named Dr. Clarence Whittington, which explains — kind of — the teeth’s presence. It does not explain why the teeth were in the wall, but what’s life without a little dental mystery? Read more…

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Student says she gave cookies containing grandfather’s ashes to classmates

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A student in Davis, California has claimed that around two weeks ago, she and a co-conspirator gave nine classmates cookies containing her grandfather’s ashes.

At least some of the students were aware there were ashes in the cookies before they consumed them, police told the Los Angeles Times on Tuesday. Others were apparently unaware and were “horrified” when they found out. 

So far, it is unclear why the student felt motivated to bring desserts with human remains in them to school. Since the cookies have already been eaten, it is also unclear how we can be sure they contained ashes at all — although a classmate of the alleged perpetrator did say he “didn’t believe her until she pulled out the urn.” Read more…

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12 tons of liquid milk chocolate spill onto Polish highway

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It’s the Magic Shell from hell.

A truck containing 12 tons of liquid milk chocolate overturned on a Polish highway on Wednesday, coating the road in sticky candy goop. Now, crews are struggling to clean it all up because it’s hardening onto the asphalt. Fun!

According to the New York Times, the secret weapon for this type of situation is hot water, which is now being sprayed onto the street to re-melt the chocolate. Cleanup is expected to take several hours, which we bet people in cars are thrilled about.

Na #A2 Poznań-Warszawa przewróciła się cysterna z czekoladą. Trwa sprzątanie jezdni 😎🍫🍫🍫 #czekolada pic.twitter.com/EnSNT8ri1q

— MotoSygnały (@MotoRadioPoznan) May 9, 2018 Read more…

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My dude Kenneth accidentally took a $1,600 Uber ride

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Kenneth, my greatest friend whom I have never met, drunkenly took a $1,635.93 Uber ride from West Virginia to New Jersey last weekend.

After a night of partying with friends near West Virginia University, Kenneth ordered an UberXL to his home over 300 miles away — a decision that, according to a Philadelphia CBS affiliate, he “doesn’t quite recall” making.

“Basically, I kinda just blacked out,” Kenneth explained. “The last thing I remember was being at the bar and then I just woke up in the Uber next to an older dude telling me I was an hour out from Jersey.”  Read more…

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Chris Christie is the first NJ governor in decades who didn’t break a leg during his term

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Former New Jersey governor Chris Christie left office yesterday with a truly dismal approval rating. On the bright side, he also left with two intact legs!

As Obama administration alum Eric Columbus pointed out on Twitter Tuesday, Christie is the first NJ governor in decades to leave office without having broken a leg. We don’t mean in the “Break a leg!” metaphorical way, either — we mean literally sustaining harm to a bone.

In 1999, then-governor Christine Todd Whitman “broke both bones in her lower right leg” while skiing in Switzerland. In 2004, Jim McGreevey broke his leg after a fall in Cape May, prompting days of wild rumors and conspiracy theories. And in 2007, Jim Corzine broke his leg in a car crash. (He also broke his sternum, collarbone, and several ribs.) Read more…

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Kid gets head start on medical career by performing doll face transplants

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January is rolling along and a lot of people are looking for some fresh hobbies. Have you considered cutting the faces off of dolls, then transplanting them onto other dolls?

For one 7-year-old, at least, this pursuit is working out well — so well that an image of her handiwork (posted by her sister Katelynn on Sunday) has been retweeted 18,000 times.

My little sister has an obsession with cutting the faces off baby dolls/stuffed animals and putting them on other dolls. Help pic.twitter.com/Q6xzeg2fzw

— katelynn (@sassykattx) January 15, 2018 Read more…

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11 stories from 2017 to remind us all that animals are getting smarter and committing more crimes

In the midst of all the intensely bad, unpredictable, and endless days of 2017, there remains one reliable, universal constant: animals will get in trouble with the police and it will always be very thrilling.
From the “Brooklyn cow” who captivated o…

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14 of the most outlandish fast food abominations of 2017

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2017 has been challenging for many reasons, but we didn’t expect fast food to be one of them. Sadly, here we are.

Don’t believe me? Just take a look at this year’s most bizarre creations — anything from chicken scented bath bombs to chicken coffee. All of that actually happened this year, and they weren’t even the worst. 

Take a look at a few of the atrocities that fast food companies rolled out in this sad, sad year. 

1. Volcano Crispy Chicken Chips

Image: taco bell

Taco Bell tested out these spicy triangular fried chicken chips in the Knoxville, Tennessee, area around January.  Read more…

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A checklist of 75 things we are willing to predict Trump will do in the near future

President Trump is no longer surprising. In fact, he has very likely exhausted the concept of surprise for a number of years.
This is a man who stared directly at the eclipse. A man who simultaneously calls white nationalists “very fine people” and e…

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